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These days, parents and caregivers are becoming more and more concerned about the role that gender plays in their children’s development, and for good reason. There are scores of studies that have been conducted that conclude that pushing gender roles on children is destructive in the long term, both for them as individuals and for society as a whole.
In 2017, Forbes magazine published an article outlining ten of the biggest reasons to avoid gender stereotyping. Forbes consulted several experts, including children’s psychologists, doctors, and professors who study gender and inclusion.
This philosophy isn’t just important for the children who might be gender-fluid, non-binary, or transgender. Gender neutrality helps kids learn how to interact with everyone, not just people who are similar to them. Not to mention, gender-based activities and expectations are enormously difficult for families with children of different genders and interests. In addition, almost all schools are co-ed, and your kids will undoubtedly have friends of other genders and backgrounds. Learning to enjoy gender-neutral kids’ activities will help them become more well-rounded people during childhood and beyond.
Knowledge is power, but now what do you do with it? In this article, we’ll look at several kids’ activities that are gender neutral that will teach your kiddos how to play in mixed groups and encourage them to explore their own identity.
1. Sports and Active Fun
Some of the sports with the highest rates of gender neutrality (meaning relatively equal numbers of boys and girls participate) include soccer, biking, swimming, running, and hiking. Many children’s soccer programs have co-ed teams and leagues, especially for younger kids.
This doesn’t mean that kids of all genders shouldn’t be able to play whatever sports they want. Buy your kids a basketball, bats and gloves, and a lacrosse stick as well as tap shoes and pom-poms. Take them to football games as well as the ballet. Let them gravitate toward what they enjoy and foster those interests.
Playgrounds are great places for your kids to meet others their age and interact with all kinds of people. Try visiting different playgrounds in your area to keep it fresh and fun and meet even more interesting people. Bubbles, water balloons, water blasters, sprinklers, and other outdoor summer activities are perennially popular with almost all children. You can teach kids how to make and then fly their own kites as a STEM and outside activity.
Other good gender-neutral kids’ activities that are active and enjoyable for all include roller skating, rollerblading, ice skating, tennis, rock climbing, and camping.
The most important aspect of these kinds of kids’ activities is normalizing the enjoyment of movement, whether that’s through running and sports, dance, yoga, or anything else.
2. Art for Art’s Sake
When doing art activities, encourage kids to explore all colors, mediums, and textures. Clay is a beloved art activity that you can buy or teach kids how to make their own. Sidewalk chalk is another fun activity to engage kids of all kinds.
Collages are a great way for kids to express themselves and break out of traditional gender expectations. Don’t just use magazine pages but get out food items, construction paper, feathers, stickers, and more.
Older kids especially love to make slime. Set up a slime lab with all sorts of colors and objects to put in it and encourage them to experiment with different combinations to see what they can come up with.
Music is a universally beloved human institution. Foster a love of music in your kids by getting them play instruments when they’re little, enroll them in music lessons when they’re older, and expose them to all the genres and styles that you can (even ones that aren’t your favorites!).
Finally, while not technically art in a traditional sense, cook with your kids! A lot of kids really love to cook, and what’s great about it is that it can be used to teach math and science skills too. It’s also an important life skill.
3. Reading, Science, and Math
In order to promote gender neutrality or entertain kids of different genders at the same time, it’s obviously important to avoid books that have overt gender bias. There are tons of books that appeal to a wide array of interests and books that specifically teach gender fluidity as well.
Learning should always be gender neutral, so activities that teach youngsters to count or write the alphabet and then build on those skills have the double benefit of gender neutrality and education.
The lack of females in STEM is an ongoing problem in the US. If your child identifies as a girl, especially encourage her to explore science and math. A great way to do this is by utilizing building toys. Magna-tiles are popular, but blocks, Legos, and other building toys are great as well.
Finally, expose your kids to cultures and practices from around the world. You can read about landmarks, the environment, and the food that people eat in all sorts of different regions and countries. Watch movies that take place there and talk about historical events. This works to broaden their understanding of their world, promoting both gender and cultural diversity.
4. Toys and Other “Stuff”
Toys are one of the most difficult areas in which to encourage gender neutrality, mostly because toy companies market aggressively on gender bases. That doesn’t mean there aren’t options, though. As we mentioned above, building toys is great. Many retailers have stopped separating boys’ and girls’ toys, and Target has a category of gender-neutral toys on their online store.
Puzzles that are gender neutral in theme, stuffed animals, pretend play items, and manipulatives are all good options. Kids love to play card games and other board games, and parents can get in on that fun too. They also teach kids important skills.
Dressing up is one of the best kids’ activities that allows them to use their vivid imaginations. Provide items in a very wide variety of types and colors. There’s nothing wrong with princess dresses or firefighter uniforms, and everyone should be able to try them on. In addition, provide other items, such as a chef’s uniform, animal costumes, doctor’s bag, clown noses, and all different kinds of glasses, hats, and accessories.
In addition, there’s nothing wrong with providing trucks, dolls, and other traditionally gender-specific toys. Just don’t push them on that basis. Boys and girls can explore how to use tools by playing with a carpentry set or learn nurturing skills by playing with a baby doll.
5. Themes for Parties and Gatherings
Planning a birthday party or other gathering of friends is one of the biggest reasons parents try to find gender-neutral kids’ activities. After all, your child probably has all sorts of friends, and you want to include them all. Not to mention, your friends have kids of other genders as well.
A color theme works well, as does an art theme. Or, set up a slime lab as we discussed above. Water wars are also great for slightly older children, as there are so many great water games that they can play as individuals and on teams.
Choose outdoor activities and play physical games such as Duck, Duck, Goose or have a wheelbarrow race where kids have to work together. If you’re throwing a winter party, try a board or card game tournament.
What to Avoid
The advertising world has been slow to catch on to gender neutrality, especially since pushing gender roles onto our kids makes their jobs easier and more profitable. Try to avoid media outlets and screen time that include a lot of ads; paying for a subscription is more than worth it if it means reducing kids’ exposure to these messages.
On that note, a lot of television and streaming shows are very gender biased. “Boys’” shows are violent and active, while “Girls’” shows are more passive. Try to choose shows that are gender-neutral.
Monitor their electronic use too (for many reasons!). App developers aggressively market games such as makeup application to girls and shooting to boys.
What’s the biggest thing to avoid? Pushing something on your child that isn’t of interest to them or forcing them to participate in a kids’ activity that they don’t like. This applies whether it is gender-conforming or not.
Challenge the Status Quo
In the end, any kids’ activities can be gender-neutral, and the more we fight for inclusion, the broader those options become for our children. Be careful not to characterize certain toys or activities as for girls or boys, and encourage kids to explore their interests without the restrictions that society tries to place on them.
The reality is that sexism is destructive for all people, including our tiny humans. Don’t ignore or deny the problem but recognize that you can fight it by opting out of many of its expectations for your own family. As one of the experts in the Forbes article cited above stated, “It is probably better to emphasize the irrelevance of gender by making sure choices and opportunities aren’t restricted by gender.”
What’s one of the most important things you can do? Lead by example!
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