The NEW Family Dinner Time: Device-Free and Lots to Share

For a very wide variety of reasons, it is crucially important for families to spend time together. Family dinner time is the perfect reason to gather but many people, from parents to child psychologists to political leaders, lament its steady decline in both frequency and quality.

In this article, we will look at just a few of the reasons why family dinner time is so important for kids and parents alike. Then, we’ll provide a few vital tips and tricks for making sure that everyone gets the most from this new family tradition (hint: no devices!).

Why Is Family Dinner Time Important?

There are many reasons to prioritize family dinner time, certainly too many for us to detail in this article. But let’s quickly run through just a few: • Strengthen relationships between all family members • Provide a sense of unity, cooperation, and support • Create a family culture that carries over into all parts of life • Nurture better self-esteem and sense of self-worth for kids • Reduce stress for all family members • Problem solve together • Help kids be less picky eaters • Foster better eating habits (and therefore overall better health) among everyone • See decreased use of alcohol and drugs and less delinquency as kids move into teen years

With so many benefits, it’s no wonder that experts tout its importance. Let’s take a look at three essential tips to re-make family dinner time into something to which everyone looks forward all day!

1. No Devices!

No devices, no exceptions. This includes cell phones, tablets, computers, televisions, smartwatches, and basically anything else with a screen or that transmits alerts. Some people even recommend turning off background music, as it can be distracting during conversation. This is especially important if you play music from a phone that might ring or ding.

The reasons for this rule are also too numerous for this article, but we’ll look at some of the biggest. Many experts worry about the social media and technology habits that children are developing, and how potentially detrimental those could be in the long term. Unplugging during family dinner time forces children to stay engaged with the real live human beings in front of them and teaches them how to set more appropriate boundaries in their digital lives.

More and more, this is also an important skill that adults need to practice too. During the pandemic, the lines between home and work became even more blurred when much of the workforce began working from home. Reserving time that is just for your family is crucial to getting some of that autonomy back. What’s more, it helps children feel important when their parents give them undivided attention.

The most important aspect of this rule is making it universally applicable. In other words, parents and adults are not exempt. You should plan to put your phone out of sight and out of reach for the entire duration of the meal, and either remove smartwatches and other devices that receive alerts or put them in “do not disturb” mode.

Finally, if you plan to invite extended family or close friends over, make sure that they’re aware of these expectations. Consistency is key!

2. Everyone Is Important in Conversations

Especially if your clan is new to these communal suppers, we recommend following an interesting and engaging formula to foster conversations, wherein everyone takes a turn explaining their best and worst experience from the day.

This gives everyone an opportunity to share their triumphs with their family members (getting an A, landing a new client, catching up with an old friend, or taking time to themselves to relax).

Perhaps more importantly, it also provides space for everyone to talk about their struggles or hardships and solve problems as a group. For children, teens, and adults, feeling less alone in the obstacles they will naturally face in life is vitally important and family should be the first place to turn. It teaches children that they never have to face these things alone.

There are lots of clever names that you can give to this style of conversation: peaks and pits, hills and valleys, sweet and sour, smiles and frowns, or anything else you come up with!

It might take a little bit of getting used to, but once you do, you’ll notice everyone in the family coming to the table bursting with news. What’s more, these conversations will carry over beyond the table, fostering better communication and relationships among all members of your tribe. What could be better for parents than knowing more about what’s going on in their children’s lives?

3. Take the Pressure Off

This one’s for you, Mom and Dad: take the pressure off when it comes to family dinner time. These don’t have to be elaborate meals. They don’t even have to be home-cooked. They don’t have to be at the exact same time every night. Not everyone has to come to the table with a million things to say.

Also, especially if you’re trying to start a new tradition with older children, be prepared for a little bit of resistance and even a little bit of awkwardness at first. Don’t get discouraged; instead, use these hiccups as motivation that shows you just how important it is to gather for family dinner time in the first place.

4. Be Consistent

The important thing is just to do it. And then do it again. And again, and again, until it is a regular, almost thoughtless part of everyone’s day. Over time, you’ll see the benefits for yourself and wonder how your family ever did without this precious togetherness.